The Gang’s All Here #002: The Italian Job

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen please, we are about to do a job in, uh, Italy, and I would like to introduce you all to each other.

First, Bill Bailey, he’ll be my number two. Now, you all know Bill, he’s just done three years in Parkhurst, he’s as honest as the day is long and you can trust him.

Second, the getaway – this’ll be done in three Mini Coopers, and they will be driven by Chris, Tony…

…and Dominic. Alright alright alright alright! These chinless wonders’ll get you out of Turin faster than anything on four wheels – remember that.

When we get to the Alps we will transfer to a coach. The coach will be driven by William here. Better known as Big William, for very obvious reasons.

Now, we come to the Professor here. The Professor is in charge of all matters relating to the Turin computer, so I don’t want anyone putting him down because he’s a man of reading. I know that he’s got some, uh, very funny habits, but make him feel at home. He’s very important to the operation.

Finally, and very quickly, I would like to introduce you to all the lads who are going to do the job with me: Arthur…

…Frank…

…Rozzer…

…Coco…

…Yellow…

…Camp Freddie you all know.

Roger…

…Dave…

…and Lorna will be in reserve with three fast cars in case anything goes wrong, right?

Now, it’s a very difficult job, and the only way to get through it is if we all work together as a team, and that means you do everything I say.

Charlie Croker (Michael Caine) introduces the team in The Italian Job.

Bill Bailey :: George Innes
Chris :: Barry Cox
Tony :: Roger Essome
Dominic :: David Salamone
Big William :: Harry Baird
Professor Simon Peach :: Benny Hill
Arthur :: Michael Standing
Frank :: John Forgeham
Rozzer :: Derek Ware
Coco :: Stanley Caine
Yellow :: Robert Powell
Camp Freddie :: Tony Beckley
Roger :: Frank Jarvis
Dave :: ???
Lorna :: Margaret Blye

Can anyone identify who plays ‘Dave’? He’s not listed in the credits so far as I can see…

Mystery Pic #070

…I’m guessing this one might not be so easy to guess though…

ETA:

It was Roadside Prophets.

Mystery Pic #069

The last one got solved quick, see how well you do with this’un…

ETA:

Another correct one from John – tis Terminator 2: Judgment Day…

Mystery Pic #068

I’ve been very disappointed in you all recently. Repay my faith!

ETA:

Faith repaid – John got it, it’s Un Prophète by Jacques Audiard.

A Week In Film #137: LA, Cleveland, Boston – all Greek to me

Jason And The Argonauts
Directed by British journeyman Don Chaffey and starring Todd Armstrong in the titular role, but remembered more for the stop-motion animation by Ray Harryhausen – and for good reason! Properly definitive work, including the creaky giant bronze statue Talos, the flying Harpies, and of course the seven killer skeletons at the end… “Kill them! Kill! Kill! Kill them all!”

Okay, so in some respects it doesn’t look ‘realistic’, but FFS! Killer skeletons ARE NOT REAL, and the whole thing is based on ancient myths and legends, and it is a movie for kids and families. For these reasons – plus it doesn’t pretend the gods are not directing much of the action (take heed, Troy), and it has some great character actors in supporting roles (Nigel Green as a non-roid-ragey Hercules, for instance), and it has a superlative Bernard Herrmann score – this is a stone cold classic.

Hollywood Homicide
Bloody awful procedural following the two-contrasting-cops-thrown-together formula, this time with Harrison Ford as a cynical veteran detective with a sideline in real estate thrown together with Josh Hartnett, a young buck who isn’t really into policework, teaches yoga and dreams of becoming an actor. Some rappers get killed. Their boss did it. Boring, and a waste of money on all levels. Director Ron Shelton should have stuck to his sports comedy-dramas.

Kill The Irishman
Before director Jonathan Hensleigh and lead actor Ray Stevenson came together on this Irish-American mob picture, they shared a connection through different movie reboots of Marvel Comics’ Punisher character – Hensleigh directed 2004′s The Punisher (the one with Thomas Jane), whilst Stevenson starred in Lexi Alexander’s Punisher: War Zone four years later.

Here they complement each other well, with Stevenson playing real-life Cleveland underworld figure Danny Greene whilst Hensleigh rattles through plenty of based-on-real-events episodes with competence and occasional flair. Overall it’s less satisfying than it could be, with whole narrative avenues ignored: Greene’s long career as an FBI informer, the there-but-for-the-grace-of-god Irish cop played by Val Kilmer, Greene’s sudden paleness with Italian mobster John Nardi (Vincent D’Onofrio)… But it’s not really pretending to be that deep, so it can be forgiven the hokey “be a good kid” ending.

The Town
Ben Affleck is shaping up to be a pretty decent director. Here he pulls together an efficient crime caper, like his debut Gone Baby Gone also set in Boston (though this time its Charlestown not Dorchester).

Affleck and his best mate (Jeremy Renner) and a couple of other friends are a crew who specialise in taking down scores on armoured cars and banks. It’s something of a class thing – Charlestown has something of the white ghetto about it, and armed robbery has become like a local industry. The boys’ success brings them to the attention of cops and the Feds, and puts the gang under pressure, something intensified when they realise a witness may be able to identify them.

It’s not the most original film, it’s not the most original heist flick, but it is refreshingly lean, and well-put together. Imagine Heat but several degrees less pretentious, and with a touch of class consciousness. Plus it’s based around the Irish-American mob, so doesn’t rely on all those overcooked Italian mob tropes. Pete Postlethwaite is good in a cameo as a neighbourhood godfather, Rebecca Hall as the witness. Renner, as ever, is excellent. And the action sequences are very well put together.

Ouch! #012: Kill The Irishman

“So how you gonna do it? I mean it’s not like you can just walk up to the guy in your fancy business suit and say ‘Hi, I’m here to whack ya!’..?”

“Sure you can…”

“Hi…”

“I’m here to whack you…”

Julius (Michael Brian Ogden) learns the subtleties of the trade from Ray Ferritto (Robert Davi) a little too late in Kill The Irishman.

Framed Documents #267: GoldenEye

Russian hacker Boris (Alan Cumming) demonstrates that he learned English from watching Carry On repeats in GoldenEye:

Enter Password:
> Knockers

Ian Tomlinson death cop PC Simon Harwood to stand trial for manslaughter

So, PC Simon Harwood – the TSG officer who batoned and shoved Ian Tomlinson in a manner which three pathologists concluded significantly contributed to his death – is to face trial for manslaughter in October.

It looks like those who trained and directed Harwood – as well as hundreds, thousands of other police deployed to control the citizenry with whatever level of physical force they see fit – have got away with it.

For now.

A Week In Film #136: First Father

Blade Runner: The Final Cut
Got me the five disc ‘Final Cut’ box set, and very nice it is too (though not as impressive on the extras front as the ‘Alien Quadrilogy’)…

Exiled: A Law & Order Movie
Firstly, Mike Logan (Chris Noth) was a great character in the early series of Law & Order, and secondly the premise – Logan, still stuck out on Staten Island after twatting some rich bloke in front of the press and itching to return to the Manhattan homicide trenches – is a rock solid start for any gritty crime drama.

But it’s all done wrong. It’s just a sub-standard ninety minute telemovie; none of the L&O language remains – the CHUH-CHUNGS, the title cards, the split between investigation and prosecution. Even what could be a delicious twist is fumbled. And the music is terrible. What a wasted opportunity.

Aliens: Special Edition
The LLF’s choice – can’t go wrong with Cameron’s space marines.

Raising Cain
It’s worrying when even Scott at Cinema de Merde – my go-to guy when I’m having trouble getting into a Brian De Palma flick – has nothing to say about a BDP film. This is a real mess – it starts off promisingly (if very messily); John Lithgow seems to be a nice guy who’s taken time off work to be a full-time dad whilst his wife returns to her career, but soon shows a dark side. Getting from there to the climax is a painfully long and if we’re honest rather dull journey.

The Ghost Writer
Child rapist Polanski directs accent abuser Ewan MacGregor in a breezy adaptation of tree killer Robert Harris’ novel. MacGregor plays a hack writer specialising in churning out ghosted autobiographies who is contracted at the last minute to polish up the turd that is a Blair-like PM’s memoirs in time for the presses to roll. He quickly discovers that all is not as it seems, and becomes embroiled in history as his subject, played with oily aplomb by Pierce Brosnan, faces a war crimes scandal.

Begins promisingly, swiftly descends into shit, and the twist is both facile and telegraphed. Olivia Williams is good as Brosnan’s wife, who is made of sterner stuff. Due to Polanski’s noncery, the scenes set in New England had to be filmed in northern Germany, and Berlin is drafted in (unconvincingly) to represent London.

Framed Documents #275: Cry Freedom

From a township demonstration in Cry Freedom:

AFRIKAANS IS
THE OPPRESSOR’S
LANGUAGE.

(Not like jolly old English, of course!)

Framed Documents #274: Cry Freedom

Liberals lay up a newspaper in Cry Freedom:

Police raid illegal
township

Framed Documents #273: High Heels And Low Lifes

Is that really Michael Gambon in a bad wig? From High Heels And Low Lifes:

!!CONGRATULATIONS!!
KERRIGAN & MASON
on your latest job!!!
ENJOY… FOR NOW…

Framed Documents #272: High Heels And Low Lifes

A smudged phone number in the enjoyable High Heels And Low Lifes:

07719148934

Framed Documents #271: Behind Enemy Lines

Admiral Reigart (Gene Hackman) ponders on Aernout Van Lynden’s business card in Behind Enemy Lines…

Framed Documents #270: In The Valley Of Elah

An email from In The Valley Of Elah:

Hank,

Got a call from the auditors today about a missing weigh bill from last week.

Check your records for weighbill # 132378.
If you find it, please call Marty in the accounting department.

Thanks,

John