Category Archives: Yookay

The disunited kingdom of Great Britain & Norn Ireland, plus all the crappy little bits too

The Bristolian is back! (slight return)

The Bristolian returns (again)

So, it seems that Bristol’s “favourite muck-raking scandal sheet”, The Bristolian, has returned (again).

Now in its third iteration (lovingly retconned to v4.0 through a quick history lesson that drags in James Acland’s 19th century anti-establishment rag serendipitously of the same name), there’s also a website to back it up, plus Twitter account and Facebook page. How terribly modern!

One gripe: first issue seems to be rather council-focused (I know, it does say ‘CRAP COUNCIL SPECIAL’ in big letters on the cover) – hopefully they shall be casting their net a little wider with future issues.

Anyway, there’s stuff on outgoing council capo Graham Sims getting a sweetheart deal from new Mayor George Ferguson, a new crap legal supremo replaces old crap legal supremo, and some righteous anger at adventure playgrounds & youth centres being dumped as large swathes of our public play facilities and services are privatised…

There’s a growing list of places to pick up paper copies (I suspect it will take a while to get it out though, so might be best to contact the Bristolian people first before trekking out).

What’s your poisson? Best April Fool’s pranks of the day

A couple in particular have tickled me today.

First off there was Bristol Culture with its ‘Costa Coffee takes over Brunel’s Buttery‘ story – just all too believable! I worked myself into a proper rage before I realised…

Then there’s arthouse video specialists Criterion, who went with a pair of Arnie-themed chain-yankers – firstly with a picture of Akira Kurosawa visiting Arnold Schwarzenegger on the set of Kindergarten Cop, and then the exciting news that that very film would be getting the full on three disc special edition treatment (“New audio commentary featuring Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, author of It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Can Teach Us”).

Any other decent ones you’ve come across?

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More View than Street

Sometimes, Google, you just aren’t very helpful…

You’re Shit #001: The (ex) landlord

Hey, we’re on a roll tonight – got this email yesterday from our last landlord, nearly a week after I asked why we’d not got our deposit back…

Hi KRS,

Thanks for the e-mail. I don’t know why but I haven’t received this until today.

There is no problem with the deposit. It will be with you shortly. It always takes a week or two to be transferred, and key exchange and end of tenancy inspection was [REDACTED].

As a gesture of goodwill there will be no charge for the oven cleaning, general cleaning, or waste disposal from the outside shed.

Thank you,

[REDACTED]

A beautiful touch, that passive-aggressive bit at the end.

Just to flesh it out a bit for you, the oven was cleaner than when we moved in; and unlike when we were due to move in there was no need to pay a professional cleaner to scrape the shit off the floors.

And the “waste” in the shed? That would be the microwave destroyed by the leak in the kitchen ceiling, initially reported to the landlord a month into the tenancy, but never properly repaired.

When I say “leak”, that’s actually shorthand for “seven or more leaks”. Above every available kitchen workspace, over the toaster, the fridge, the freezer and the aforementioned microwave (RIP). Oh, and the unswitched, circuit-breakerless four-way the landlord plonked on the worktop.

Did I mention how the landlord even tried to drag us in to an insurance fraud to pay for the roof repair?

Or the rotten floors (which we had pointed out before we’d even done a second viewing, d’oh!) that the landlord has promised to get fixed, but which – can you guess? – were never properly fixed?

Or the bodged macerator that vented out a delicious shit-burp after every flush?

Still not had the deposit back yet…

Bristol: A tale of one city, two worlds

The LLF spotted these two contrasting jobs on the Bristol City Council website…

Festivals, Community Arts and Film Manager

  • Reference: 23103
  • Department: Corporate Services
  • Working Hours: Full time
  • Employment Type: Permanent
  • Salary: £35,430 – £38,042
  • Closing Date: 08 February, 2012
  • Location: Council House

 

In community arts, our work ranges from promoting dance projects to opening up empty shops as temporary arts venues – and to achieving benefits in terms of health, community development and regeneration, as well as helping grow Bristol’s headline artists of tomorrow. Our festivals team is behind small and large events across the city – none larger than our annual Harbour Festival, which in 2011 celebrated its 40th year with crowds of over 250,000. Our events licensing team has made Bristol the official ‘street party capital of England’ with more external events here than any other city council area (over 400 last year alone). Our film office team are the people who make it easy for TV and film crews to film in the city, bringing in millions of pounds to the local economy.

Social Worker

  • Reference: 23100
  • Department: Children and Young Peoples Services
  • Working Hours: Full time
  • Employment Type: Permanent
  • Salary: £25,472 – £30,851
  • Closing Date: 08 February, 2012
  • Location: Redfield

 

This is an exciting opportunity for a qualified Social Worker to join a well-established and experienced team working in the fields of long-term, short-term, kinship and private fostering. You will be required to supervise and support foster carers, undertake fostering assessments and annual reviews and present your reports to the fostering panel.

It’s always good to see what priorities we’re subject to.

Just what is Junket Janke hiding? The mystery of Bristol council’s Eurocities 2010 gravy train

For some reason Bristol City Council has been dragging its feet over a Freedom of Information request relating to a trip to Zaragoza for the Eurocities conference back in early November by council leader Barbara ‘Junket’ Janke, her £72,000 per year ‘director of place-making’ Mike Bennett, and possibly other hangers-on.

With the suspicion that this little four day jaunt to sunny Spain cost a pretty penny or two and serves little to no purpose at a time when the city council is threatening massive cutbacks to services and jobs across Bristol, it seems curious that the council has not been keener to wheel out its no doubt entirely valid and deep-ranging justifications – I am sure we are all waiting with excitement for old favourites like “value for money”, “strategic partnerships” and even “post-industrial destination economy”.

But, despite being legally obliged to respond within a month, the council still has yet to even acknowledge the original FoI request, so requester Steve Woods has politely resubmitted it:

Dear Bristol City Council,

I have not yet received a reply, or even the courtesy of an acknowledgment, to my FoI request for information on the visit of Barbara Janke and the Director of Place to the Eurocities 2010 conference
in Zaragoza, Spain.

A full reply should have been received by 6th November and Bristol City Council is therefore in breach of the law by not having responded within the stipulated term.

I set out below verbatim the text of my original request for your information, just in case it has slipped into oblivion down the back of the municipal filing cabinet.

“Dear Bristol City Council,

I understand that the Leader of the Council, Barbara Janke, and the Director of Place recently attended the Eurocities 2010 conference in Zaragoza, Spain.

My queries under the FoI Act are as follows:

1. Did any other representatives of Bristol City Council attend this conference, apart from those mentioned above?

2. What was the overall cost (registration, travel, accommodation, etc.) to the City Council of its representatives attending the Eurocities 2010 conference.

Yours faithfully,

Steve Woods”

Can you please advise by return just what the current position is with this request, as well as when I can expect a reply.

Yours faithfully,

Steve Woods

Exuding the sense of opaque entitlement often found with a certain kind of ‘knowledge economy’ technocrat, somewhat cantankerous servant of the city Bennett – formerly the chief self-facilitating node at Bristol Media – has not even mentioned the Eurocities event on his blog since October (before it took place!), much less than offered any insights on what ‘the team’ learned there to us, the Great Unwashed of the city… Could this be because he and Babs got up to some unsavoury Spanish practices of their own at the taxpayer’s expense out there?