The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar: case cracked

Bristol’s finest crimefighters-in-orthopedic-footwear, the Avin It Somewhere Constantly, are hot on the trail of a fiendish stun gun-wielding burglar, creatively nicknamed The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar.

The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar first struck in Kingswood on 4th September:

A burglar used a stun gun on a woman to force her back into her home.

The man was followed into the house by an accomplice who threatened a second woman with a hammer.

Both men then searched the house in Kingswood and stole cash along with a handbag which had a mobile phone, cash and other items inside.

The pair left the address in Orchard Vale, South Gloucestershire, in a silver-coloured people carrier. Both were black men in their early 20s.

Police have released an e-fit of one of the men wanted in connection with the aggravated burglary. He has a distinctive light-coloured goatee beard.

The other offender, who was armed with a hammer, was 5ft 5ins tall with a skinny build and wearing a black hooded top and jeans.

(BBC News Bristol, published 1:25pm 11/9/07)

Then he struck again, on the 11th – the very same day as his first felony was splashed across the Beeb website! – a little over a mile away, in Longwell Green:

A second stun gun burglary has happened in Bristol close to where a similar one took place a week ago.

In the most recent case, on Tuesday 11 September, three men, one armed with a Taser gun, forced their way into a flat in All Saints Close, Longwell Green.

The men kicked the door until it was opened by the resident who was then incapacitated and pushed into a room. The three then demanded money.

In both cases one of the men had a blond goatee beard.

Police said they were keeping an open mind over whether this latest incident was linked to one in Kingswood on 4 September.

In the most recent burglary, the victim was punched in the face and attacked for a second time with the stun gun before being forced into the lounge where his girlfriend and sister were.

The two offenders who did not have the stun gun searched the flat and left with a duvet full of clothes, a 42-inch plasma television and two mobile phones.

It is believed they may have escaped in a silver car similar to a Vauxhall Astra.

(BBC News Bristol, published 8:56am, 12/9/07)

I particularly like the bit about “keeping an open mind” about whether the two attacks might be linked. Because obviously Taser-enhanced home invasions are the norm around BS15/30…

There’s a more detailed description of The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar, though:

The first, the man armed with the stun gun, was described as being black, aged between 28 and 35 years, 6ft tall, and of medium build.

He had a blond goatee beard, short blond hair and was wearing sunglasses, a black motorcycle jacket and dark jeans.

So, about that picture of The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar the peelers knocked up; what is known, in that quaintly wannabe c21 fashion, as an e-fit – surely a computer generated, near-photographic likeness, distilled from eye witness accounts and rendered by seasoned techno detectives would help close the net on this dastardly desperado? Erm, well, have a look yourself:

E-fit of The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar

(Rather a shame whoever was throwing the Photoshop down the stairs didn’t seem to notice the bit about “blond hair”, but hey-ho, I guess you get the general gist.)

Anyway, I mentioned the “black…between 28 and 35 years…6ft tall… medium build…blond goatee beard…short blond hair” thing to Jittug this evening, and he instantly came upon a prime suspect:

Suspeito principal

I suspect an alibi such as “I was playing professional football in America” is unlikely to pay off…

4 responses to “The Bristol Stun Gun Burglar: case cracked

  1. PS Forget to mention how this is blatantly a recycled A&S press release (the word “offender” gives it away, really).

    Original press release

  2. thebristolblogger


  3. *BOOM* *TISH*

    Journalists recycling PR fluff? Whodathunkit, etc! 😀

  4. Pingback: Shocked & amused « Bristle’s Blog from the BunKRS

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