Category Archives: Yookay

The disunited kingdom of Great Britain & Norn Ireland, plus all the crappy little bits too

Community policing, Bristol fashion

Bristol’s answer to the Keystone Kops, the ‘Avin’ It Somewhere Constantly, is in the news today after a couple of its finest managed to Taser a sixty-three year old man, Judah Adunbi, in the face outside his own home on the entirely-legit-honest-guv grounds that ‘he looked like someone on their wanted list’.

Needless to say he was arrested for assault on a police officer and detained for ten hours at Patchway nick after receiving medical attention at the BRI. Charges (“assaulting a constable in the execution of their duty and a public order offence”) were later mysteriously dropped, possibly around the time that a video of the incident filmed by a neighbour surfaced, and probably after some high-flyer in Potting Shed HQ realised that the man in question was in fact a member of one of the ASC’s own Independent Advisory Groups. These are made up of “volunteers drawn from our communities from various backgrounds [who] have an interest in policing and its effect on our communities and offer independent advice.”

Zee Feelth are having a good old crack at turning that frown upside down and presenting this as somehow a win for the force, with Bristol Area Commander Ch Supt Jon Reilly making much of ASC “voluntarily” referring the incident to the Independent Police Complaints Commission in a manner which suggests he thinks we’re incapable of reading the IPCC’s own clear guidance on the issue. (The Commission, meanwhile, is already asking for witnesses to come forward.)

With much chutzpah Reilly even claims that “I’ve met with Mr Adunbi and we had a constructive conversation”. Clearly this protégé of (now retired) Acting Chief Constable John Long will go far!

It all reminds me of an incident a few years back when I watched a copper pepper spray some alkie walking away from him on Stokes Croft. Different weapon, same attitude – no come-back for an unnecessary coshing…until the pictures/videos turn up.

(Oh, and the comments section under the Post‘s Facebook page post on this functions as an excellent fuckwit-detector.)

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The Bristolian is back! (slight return)

The Bristolian returns (again)

So, it seems that Bristol’s “favourite muck-raking scandal sheet”, The Bristolian, has returned (again).

Now in its third iteration (lovingly retconned to v4.0 through a quick history lesson that drags in James Acland’s 19th century anti-establishment rag serendipitously of the same name), there’s also a website to back it up, plus Twitter account and Facebook page. How terribly modern!

One gripe: first issue seems to be rather council-focused (I know, it does say ‘CRAP COUNCIL SPECIAL’ in big letters on the cover) – hopefully they shall be casting their net a little wider with future issues.

Anyway, there’s stuff on outgoing council capo Graham Sims getting a sweetheart deal from new Mayor George Ferguson, a new crap legal supremo replaces old crap legal supremo, and some righteous anger at adventure playgrounds & youth centres being dumped as large swathes of our public play facilities and services are privatised…

There’s a growing list of places to pick up paper copies (I suspect it will take a while to get it out though, so might be best to contact the Bristolian people first before trekking out).

What’s your poisson? Best April Fool’s pranks of the day

A couple in particular have tickled me today.

First off there was Bristol Culture with its ‘Costa Coffee takes over Brunel’s Buttery‘ story – just all too believable! I worked myself into a proper rage before I realised…

Then there’s arthouse video specialists Criterion, who went with a pair of Arnie-themed chain-yankers – firstly with a picture of Akira Kurosawa visiting Arnold Schwarzenegger on the set of Kindergarten Cop, and then the exciting news that that very film would be getting the full on three disc special edition treatment (“New audio commentary featuring Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, author of It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Can Teach Us”).

Any other decent ones you’ve come across?

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More View than Street

Sometimes, Google, you just aren’t very helpful…

You’re Shit #001: The (ex) landlord

Hey, we’re on a roll tonight – got this email yesterday from our last landlord, nearly a week after I asked why we’d not got our deposit back…

Hi KRS,

Thanks for the e-mail. I don’t know why but I haven’t received this until today.

There is no problem with the deposit. It will be with you shortly. It always takes a week or two to be transferred, and key exchange and end of tenancy inspection was [REDACTED].

As a gesture of goodwill there will be no charge for the oven cleaning, general cleaning, or waste disposal from the outside shed.

Thank you,

[REDACTED]

A beautiful touch, that passive-aggressive bit at the end.

Just to flesh it out a bit for you, the oven was cleaner than when we moved in; and unlike when we were due to move in there was no need to pay a professional cleaner to scrape the shit off the floors.

And the “waste” in the shed? That would be the microwave destroyed by the leak in the kitchen ceiling, initially reported to the landlord a month into the tenancy, but never properly repaired.

When I say “leak”, that’s actually shorthand for “seven or more leaks”. Above every available kitchen workspace, over the toaster, the fridge, the freezer and the aforementioned microwave (RIP). Oh, and the unswitched, circuit-breakerless four-way the landlord plonked on the worktop.

Did I mention how the landlord even tried to drag us in to an insurance fraud to pay for the roof repair?

Or the rotten floors (which we had pointed out before we’d even done a second viewing, d’oh!) that the landlord has promised to get fixed, but which – can you guess? – were never properly fixed?

Or the bodged macerator that vented out a delicious shit-burp after every flush?

Still not had the deposit back yet…

Bristol: A tale of one city, two worlds

The LLF spotted these two contrasting jobs on the Bristol City Council website…

Festivals, Community Arts and Film Manager

  • Reference: 23103
  • Department: Corporate Services
  • Working Hours: Full time
  • Employment Type: Permanent
  • Salary: £35,430 – £38,042
  • Closing Date: 08 February, 2012
  • Location: Council House

 

In community arts, our work ranges from promoting dance projects to opening up empty shops as temporary arts venues – and to achieving benefits in terms of health, community development and regeneration, as well as helping grow Bristol’s headline artists of tomorrow. Our festivals team is behind small and large events across the city – none larger than our annual Harbour Festival, which in 2011 celebrated its 40th year with crowds of over 250,000. Our events licensing team has made Bristol the official ‘street party capital of England’ with more external events here than any other city council area (over 400 last year alone). Our film office team are the people who make it easy for TV and film crews to film in the city, bringing in millions of pounds to the local economy.

Social Worker

  • Reference: 23100
  • Department: Children and Young Peoples Services
  • Working Hours: Full time
  • Employment Type: Permanent
  • Salary: £25,472 – £30,851
  • Closing Date: 08 February, 2012
  • Location: Redfield

 

This is an exciting opportunity for a qualified Social Worker to join a well-established and experienced team working in the fields of long-term, short-term, kinship and private fostering. You will be required to supervise and support foster carers, undertake fostering assessments and annual reviews and present your reports to the fostering panel.

It’s always good to see what priorities we’re subject to.