Category Archives: FunnyBone

Teh houmous

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The best holiday season ever, in the history of beach seasons globally

Shellshock & Awe – kiddie edition

How did I miss this at the time? A mind-blowing piece of agitprop/art put together by Darren Cullen with director Price James and others for Veterans For Peace UK back in 2015.

As a childhood fan of Action Man, a would-be boy soldier (but for OfC cutbacks and downsizing), and yet also of a certain political persuasion, I find it utterly chilling. I hope that it helped VfP get its message across.

Plenty of other great stuff on Cullen’s website too, and he has a short exhibition of new sculptures up in That There Lunnon at the beginning of October.

H/T: John Freeman at Down The Tubes

Judgement on Trumpton..?

blogjudgecalpresidenttrump

HT @pauljholden via Dan Whitehead

Kerry McCarthy in The Rangoonies

The Rangoonies

Inspired by this on the new super soaraway Bristolian website (apologies for poor execution)…

What’s your poisson? Best April Fool’s pranks of the day

A couple in particular have tickled me today.

First off there was Bristol Culture with its ‘Costa Coffee takes over Brunel’s Buttery‘ story – just all too believable! I worked myself into a proper rage before I realised…

Then there’s arthouse video specialists Criterion, who went with a pair of Arnie-themed chain-yankers – firstly with a picture of Akira Kurosawa visiting Arnold Schwarzenegger on the set of Kindergarten Cop, and then the exciting news that that very film would be getting the full on three disc special edition treatment (“New audio commentary featuring Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, author of It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Can Teach Us”).

Any other decent ones you’ve come across?

“I’ve been to a few protests back in my day!” – shit the FBI says…

Courtesy of Will Potter at the anti-greenscare blog Green Is The New Red

Psycho Killer: Fah-fah-fah-fah-FFS; or, how a working day can descend into Twitter debate & serendipitous listenings

Whilst working hard at Wilder Street Studio yesterday I got into an online argument/discussion via Twitter with Jelly Eli, Alex Happe and Nigel Legg over the best version of ‘Psycho Killer’…

Consensus seemed to be that the Talking Heads themselves had provided the definitive one, at least when one considers the refinement they managed to put into it by the time of the Jonathan Demme concert film Stop Making Sense and its accompanying edit…

Eli and I put up a stiff fight on behalf of anti-Thatcher acappella group The Flying Pickets (remember massively sideburned Brian Hibbard from Making Out and Twin Town?) – it turns out we’re both fans of the ‘Lost Boys‘ album – whose own interpretation is a classic in its own right:

Eli also dug out a punchy but otherwise pedestrian cover by addled rock supergroup Velvet Revolver

…a rather peculiar one by Aussie singer-songwriter Kate Miller-Heidke

…and this marvellously silly run-through by Brazilian psychobilly band The Elektrobillys…

…whilst I uncovered this gem by the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain:

However, in what I can only describe as magickal happenstance, last night at home I happened to be listening to some old episodes of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue when up popped Tim Brooke-Taylor in ‘One Song To The Tune Of Another’ with what might be the doozy of them all – David Byrne’s lyrics warbled over the top of a Gilbert & Sullivan melody…

NB If you’re enamoured of odd cover versions, karaoke classics, reinterpretations and interpolations, then you may be interested in my old UnderCover podcasts…

A hogstage to fortune: When spam attacks

Sometimes spam comments can be almost entertaining.

Almost.

I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia penis enlargement and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. penis enlargement They’re coming back now. vimax Please send help! nitip penis enlargement

“Sex-change-paedo”: Tactless Telegraph tagger strikes again!

The tags put on Telegraph stories that come up on my blogreader are often of a particularly fruity nature; this one’s the best I’ve seen recently, from a story about a transsexual woman who has just been convicted of downloading child porn:

Laura Voyce, 20, who has changed her name from Luke, could have been locked up for nine months after being convicted of 14 counts of downloading indecent images of children.

But Judge Lesley Newton chose to suspend the sentence after saying that she would be at risk of attack in prison.

Voyce, from Kirkby in Merseyside, is in the process of having a sex change to become a woman.

The court heard a stash of indecent images was found on Voyce’s computer by police investigating another allegation.

Perhaps the tactless tagging – worthy of the Star or the Express, for sure – is Will Lewis‘s own version of sticking sardines down the back of the radiator… Or does he have a cadre of stay-behind saboteurs in place?

The Internet Careers Advice Bureau is now OPEN: Today’s client – G20 assault cop Sergeant Delroy Smellie

With the trial of G20 assault cop Sergeant Smellie nearly over, it would appear prudent to investigate some possible career moves for Delroy the Trotter.

So far the Twitter hashtag #NewCareersForSergeantSmellie has thrown up the following suggestions:

  • Pro tennis player (strong backhand)
  • Prosecution lawyer for Simpson retrial (he hates OJ)
  • PE teacher at Catholic diocesan school
  • Head of Physical Therapy, Guantanamo Bay Retirement Home
  • Team leader, West Midlands Serious Crime Squad (reformed)
  • Angling licence superintendent at private lake (very tough with Fishers)
  • ‘Driver’ for Robert De Niro (post soon to be available)

Add your ideas here or on Twitter – together we can help this 6′ 5″, eighteen stone shrinking violet a suitable new position.

[Cheers to @Raxscallion for their input!]

NHS accountancy: like rearranging deckchairs (harmoniously)

Overheard portion of conversation between various NHS ID-wearing people in the Tesco Express near the BRI:

…So we have to check through and calculate how much we’ve spent on feng shui consultants over the year…

Will try and see if there’s an FoI request out there that matches up to that!

ETA:

Can’t see anything on the What Do They Know? FoI site. Can anybody out there shed some light on this?

Welcome to St. Paul’s

The Fuck You van

Primark your cards

I’m on my hols at the moment, but in the spirit of getting back in the saddle, I’ve just remembered something that the LLF told me she overheard on a security guard’s radio whilst following him down the escalators at the new Primark last Friday:

…There’s reports of a topless woman trying on bras in the underwear lingerie department – can anyone deal?

This is the dawning of the age of web querulous

Perhaps I’m being unreasonably tetchy, but this just seems mighty wrong.

At 9.40am I tweeted a link to a photo on Street Boners, captioned “Using party balloons for nitrous is like getting a unicorn to talk to teens about breast cancer”.

At 9:41am I received an email notification that CancerInfoHQ was now following me on Twitter.

You’ve Been Framed: The Google Street View Years

Bike crash captured by Google Street View

Bike crash at junction of City Road, Upper York Street and Stokes Croft, as captured on Google Street View. Perhaps more astonishing than this pile-up (and exactly how did that happen? Is the chap on the left riding an invisible steed?) is that there are no tramps in the background. I guess they heard about the plans to water down White Lightning.

Tip O’ The Titfer: [underscore] via Stefan Goodchild

ETA: Chris Hutt has spotted that The Sun has picked up the picture – it’s the third one in this slideshow, and also mentioned here.

ETA: It’s also featured in this BBC article (5th image in the gallery).

ETA: I can’t find any pictures showing the pre-crash situation, but this picture shows the aftermath in a bit more detail. That skateboarder is definitely acting suspiciously!

Bike crash aftermath